Why you'd rather be dead than be disabled

Can we talk? Human to human?

I know that discussing disability and disabled people in general makes you feel uncomfortable. We "look" weird, or "act" weird... sometimes both. How many times have you seen someone like me and thought "Man, if I had to be her, I'd rather be dead".

I get it.

There's been times when I see someone with a more severe form of my own disability and think "Shit, I don't know how they do it". I don't know where they get the strength to do life, one day after another. For me personally, this is a huge part of what fuels my fire. I look at these people and what's happening with poor legislation than affects them, lousy support programs, greedy funding for therapies (or lack thereof) and I know I NEED to do something about it. This fuel is what gave birth to NuGenerous.
And while I'm not alone in how I approach my feelings about disability, I am aware that most people (the grand majority) don't. Out of sight, out mind, right? Our brains will do anything it takes to not have to deal with uncomfortable topics. Disabled people or disability, is one of those topics.
I mean, who would voluntarily want to be disabled, or deal with someone in their life (be it a child, relative or romantic partner) that has a disability? Our brains will actively reject anything that looks/feels "abnormal" to them. So much so, that you believe you'd rather be dead than disabled.

It's a problem.
It's a problem because disabled people are all around you, and whether you choose to ignore it or not, it's a group which at some point in your life, you are most likely going to become a part of.
See the thing is, you think the universe (or God, or mother nature, whatever you believe in) owes you a working body in the traditional sense. We like to talk about Millenials and their sense of entitlement, but this is one we are all guilty of.

The universe doesn't owe you anything. Not a thing. Somehow we all understand that the simple act of being born does not entitle us to living in the lap of luxury. We are all expected to work hard for it, earn it. We're all expected to try our best, not give up. We get upset when people talk about suicide and say "but you have so much to live for!" Though somehow the thought of having to live life with a disability makes you throw your arms up and announce "Nope, won't do it, kill me instead".

Maybe it's because deep down we understand how little we have done in comparison to what needs to be done to make our world more accessible to people of all shapes, sizes and abilities. Or, maybe it's just ignorance.

I'm not here to change your mind. I know you're not going to read this and all of a sudden feel differently about the kid next door who uses a wheelchair.
Most of you will never understand what it's like to be disabled until you come face to face with it and realize you WOULDN'T rather be dead, but instead just wished people would be more loving, understanding and willing to help.

And when you do, I will be there to welcome you with open arms and give you the tour.

All my love, Diana.